im back!

from the pi!
phew! what a trip! it feels like summer has been forever! and i was only there for like what? 2 weeks?

haha i guess you can say that im jetlagged? i dont know.. i slept at 12 and woke up at 5.. is that normal? hahaha.

this year was different. of course i was super excited to finally get away from everything that was happening here in the united states, but at the same time, i was kind of eh for leaving on the first day of summer.. like really now?! i dont know.. theres something about this trip that made it a lot different from the last time i was there. well obviously for the reason i guess.. i went because of a funeral. and best believe it that it was my ver first funeral in my entire life. i didnt know how to act, how to feel. my mom's aunt died. and even though i didnt really establish a rock solid relationship with her.. she took care of my mom when my grandma died. without her, i dont think my mom would be the same person she would be today. i guess that gave me a reason to cry. i remember when i got there, to the province, walking into the house, and seeing the coffin there was already over whelming. tears were already streaming down my face, and for what? it sucked.. really. it made me want to go back in time and try to re establish a nice relationship with her. i love you grandma maria, may you rest in peace <3

Staying in the province was another deal. i met my cousins ( i guess they're my 2nd cousins because they were the kids of my mom's cousin) and they're all little kids, wth the oldest one being 12. they made me realize that life doesnt need to be lived with many nice things. they live in a small house, but they are a HAPPY family. it just hit me and made me realize how much i am blessed with. it was so hard leaving the province, id never think i would emotionally establish an individual relationship with each kid. i miss each and every one of them! :(

OVERALL. the philippines was just a nice way to relax and get away from all the stress. what did i do?
-ice skating, best believe it! they WILL fill their huge malls with random stuff like.. an ice skating rink!
- i got sick - NOT SWINE FLU ! i just got the fever and a cold! ;)
- shopping, i cant believe im saying this, but i dont think i ever wanna shop until school starts. really.
- and of course eating, i think im going to go vegetarian for a while.. no joke.

i miss everyone! and im still in the process of unpacking! hit me up and we'll chill!

<3

weekend

this weekend was by far the best weekend so far! i really just needed one of these weekends to just find myself again.

friday- school was lame, since i was in a bad mood that day. but i went to go see up with jacob and my sister ;) UP is the cutest movie by far! and i think you should go see it, because its the effing best :) it made me cry like 39573458 times! hahaha and i tried to be all slick about it! it was great! so i guess after the movies i heard th lakers won :) which just totally just made my day even more. it was so great because i couldnt believe i was out, chilling with him (: how could my weekend get any better right?! unbelieveable. so i guess i brought jacob home after the movies. and i swear, if i had a time machine.. i would just rewind and freeze until that momment. friday just revealed everything i needed to know about us, and im glad now. friday night just totally altered my feelings toward him, and whats up for us. im glad that friday night happened! like REAL happy :)

saturday- i woke up to the sound of my sister getting ready for knotts. which was kinda lame because i wanted to go! but thats okay, because i was so excited for chino hills high luau! i really wanted to just chill with my cousins you know? its because i rarely even see them now these days, and it stinks you know!? anyways. so my mom dropped marjorie and i to the luau and we waited for ate cherisse and her boyfriand. it was great seeing all the officers from ayala! i like how we just bonded there :) oh well i take that back.. it was the officers plus jason :) hahahah. the luau was good, food was great. so me, my ate, her boyfriend and marjorie left after the luau was finished and my ate picked jacob up from his house to go hang out. i was so surprised that his parents would let him out this late. but it was fun. we drove to joghurt! it was super crowded! marjorie got so much, and after minutes of dilerberaton, justin and ate finally decided to get something too ! it was great. so then we dropped jacob home, and then we went back to chino hills high to get picked up.

DOPE WEEKEND OR WHAT?! seeing boy for 2 days in a row?! :DDDD SCORE.
but really now. i didnt realize this until now, but friday night just totally set the precedent for the future. i cant wait :D

until next time.

may 30th 2009
- bubbly
- tired
-officially missing you :)

vent,vent,vent.

4th period= GOOD VENTING SESSION.
& also, our little, non math related conversation of hot boys at our school.. HAHAHAH best believe, there are SOME. hahahahaha.

anyways, this week hasnt really been a good one. i was looking foward to a more happier, and less stressful week, well i take that back only because stupid AP test is now 7 days away, but you know, i just wanted to stress about AP, and NOTHING ELSE. nothing else being stuff UNschool related. uggggh. whatever. this whole week, i've been fed up with this one issue that has been bugging me since last week thursday. yes, i even rememeber when because its that irritating. big props to anne and pia for just being there :) i love you guys so much! but really, THAT on top of errrthang is not a good mixture for me. honestly, i kind of like this too, its just a little something to add on my experience list, and " what not to do/what not to be into " list :) somewhat, its all good, but for the most part, im still trying to get over everything in a mental and emotional type thing. we'll see how i do. for now, i guess ill just view it as an experiement, to see how far i can really go with this without completely just breaking down.

SO, good vent sesh today in math :) us rebels and our anti-math mood :) YAY. hahahah so anyways, i basically just told those girls what has been on my mind lately, and im glad that they seem to agree with me. i never noticed, but i just realized ( and thank the lord because i was so like.. confused about this) that each and every person's definiton of things are BOUND to be different, and with this, it results in someone feeling one way, and the other person not totally aware of what's going on. honestly, how do you really cope with this type of situation? just let it slide? i dont know what to do. this is really pissing me off, only because i just run into this situation EVERY day during 4th. and it might be a routine thing every wednesday.. FML.

& wth was this bs on wednesday?! i didnt want to see him, because that day was already ugh as it was. but whatever. sometimes, i really wonder when i will be ready and calm to just talk about this.. like heart to heart, end up good terms. but we'll see. maybe its because im stubborn, and i refuse to. but lately i've been giving this attitude of being stubborn. after confirmation, we ate out at pei wei, and i was eating a fortunr cookie, and it said something about trying to understand. and i AM TRYING TO UNDERSTAND. i AM trying to understand what i did wrong, how WE went wrong, im trying to understand why im still so upset, even though i techincally SHOULDNT be, im trying to understand that i cant be like her, stoop to her level and become someone amazing, im just trying to understand that life isn't fair, especially now.

LUAU IS IN 2 WEEKS. that would be so dope if you guys would come :) its 10 dollars for both dinner, catered by L&L Bbq and a show presented by our polynesian club! its really worth it i promise :) let me know if you guys are interested ! thanks =)

woooow, i feel better kinda.
this week is for sure crunch time for APUSH, nott kiddding !

may 01st 2009:
-tired
-hungry
-confused

wasssssup.

yay! i feel happy again :) so heres a little recap of my weekend :

friday: everything was okay on friday. it was just another one of those whatever days. for reals. i was really bummed though, only because on thursday, lakers lost! but thats okay ! because today we won ! and we won by A LOT, i just forgot how many. hahahahaha. so after school, i went home and just touched up and drove to the shoppes to meet with camille :) we shopped for a bit and found my confirmation outfit, and pencil skirt and a bright yellow top :) yayyyy! and then we just walked around, and i bumped into jacob ! well i didnt bump into him, because i knew he was at the shoppes, but he found me :) so then, i guess he needed a ride home, so i gave him one :) ended up at staying at his casa until like, 5:15 ish. i met his 'rents, and we chilled and just watched tv. like, 10 minutes of icarly, and about 10 minutes of that 70's show. plus you know, all the commercials and stuff. then went to st. paul to pick up my sister. we went to get chipotle, and then i drove my mom to walnut just so she can get a haircut. phewwww. sheeesh. hahahaha. and then i came home and i was SUPER tired. well because the night before, i stayed up till freaking midnight talking on the phone ! but it was well worth it :) so i guess i came home,and just chilllllllled.

saturday: THE DAY I GOT CONFIRMED! i was so excited, but too bad my mom woke me up freaking early when i was planning to sleep in until 10, she woke up at like 8:30 saying that there was food downstairs. i was hungry, but i wanted to sleep in more, and she kept bugging me to wake up. so she waits an hour and finally gets my sister to come up to my room and ask me to wake up. sheeeesh. so i woke up, ate, then went back to sleep for about 20 minutes. then i played around with my hair to see what i could do. then i went on youtube, looked up some hair tutorial, watched it, then took a shower, and got ready :) then we went to church, and i got ready for confirmation and blah blah blah :) i was so excited ! everyone looked freaking nice, i was so happy! hahahah and honestly, it felt like i was at a freaking graduation. but the weather was nice too ! so after, we kept taking pictures, and then when we finally stopped taking pictures, we went to go eat at pei wei's in the commmons. and they have a whole grip of fortune cookies !! =D ! so then marjorie came over, and we watched some of the laker game, until my sister decides that all three of us should walk to click. so we did, and i was still in my confirmation clothing. -_- we only took pictures at like what? 2 booths? but it was well worth it =) so then denise wanted starbucks, so i drive my ass down all the way to starbucks and spend a good 10 bucks on drinks. i came home and we finished the laker game, with us winning :) yaaaay ! and then my mom and i drove around to get something to eat, and we ended up going to in and out. then we ate and watched harry potter, and then dropped marjorie home. then now im here thinking about everything that has happened this past week. and honeslty, im so over everything. i think i found something, and im going to pursue with it this time. i have a feeling, that this one is something i haven't experienced before.
we'll see.

april 25th, 2009
-tired
-sleepy
-happy
-confused
-mad ( not a lot )
- & im officially missing you !
ha

WHAT THE FUCK.

is the world on some sort of mission to just totally piss me off today or what? or to just totally make me feel like shit?! because if it is, mission mother fucking accomplished.


seriously, fuck my life. lately, i havent been caring anymore. school's almost done, and i got my license and i all wanna do is just go out and chill. forget all this bullshit and lets just do something. honestly, i dont give a fuck anymore, or im starting. and its applying to almost everything now. school, boys, whatever, just i dont give a fuck anymore. i dont know why the hell im so pissed right now. i feel like i just wanna blow up, just fucking punch someone straight in the face. i think that would make me feel SO much better. maybe not, i dont know. i dont wanna forgive people for just hurting me. fuckers. can someone just tell me what the fuck is happening with me?! why im so pissed like this?! this isn't like me. for reals. and im more leaning towards of a confused feel. i dont know WHAT to feel. if i should be happy, sad, i dont fucking know anymore. im just fucking pissed off, and i dont know what the hell im going to do with myself tonight. REALLY.

** im so sick and tired of all your bull shit. its just turning me into someone im not. i cant believe myself, that i would go this far to feel like this. thanks, A LOT.

UGH.

day one

of driving ALONE :)

honestly, i love the feeling. and yes i can admit that its kinda boring, since you're not really with anyone, but oh well. i feel so freaking cool now ! =) and i can play music in my car without worrying about it being awkward with my mom or my dad ! weeeeeeeeeee ! so on the way there, i guess coming down eucalyptus (spelling?) i was going down the hill, and then all of a sudden i guess this stray dog decided to just run across the street. SHIT. i got so scared, and luckly, the car behind me was like miles away, so i stopped and just waited until it got to the other side with safety. but at the same time i could hear my mothers voice in my head " just run over the animal, would you rather hit the animal? or someone hit you " BAHAHA to bad she wasnt in the car with me to tell me that ! bahahahahahaha ! but yeah, i felt so cool when i could finally park in the parking lot, get out and LOCK THE DOOR :)
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

i hated though, how it was super windy today, which made it coldER then it was. but whatever, i just danced with my jeans on and my jacket.
after poly, i decided not to stay, i couldnt bear the coldness outside, and i really wanted to just drive around.. no joke :)
so i wanted to go get my eyebrows done, so i drove around to find the cheapest place. and i did! and the lady was like " hope to see you soon " O_O okaaaaay.
i bought my sister and i little cell phone key chain thingies. i have hello kitty, and she has the girl from animal crossing. prettttay dope huh? =) so blah blah i came home, did nothing, played animal crossing, and my mom told me that she'll be at my cousins house till like forever, so i got hungry and asked if we could get something to eat. and we did. but seriously, i had to take my dad :( but my sister sat in the front ! =) but its ridiculous, my dad STILL tells me what to do. REALLY NOW?! -_- ugh, whatever !

so now im here! and im super excited for tomorrow ! kaycee's casa and the movies =)
and then on friday.. six flags ! WEEEEEEEEEEE
i <3 spring break. and really. i think i should prolly start on homework.. i have shit loads to do. FML.

eastaaaaaaah :)

mass was ridiculously crowded ! but of course, its easter sunday !
im so happy, i finally saw adriel after like 3498753495 years ! for reals :)

so my family and i headed on over to san dimas to a party. happy birthday katherine basallo :) i miss you girl, and i hope you have many more birthdays to come!

today was just chill and whatever. i woke up really late ! and i was pissed because i forgot that i had chores to do, so now that leaves me with stuff to do on monday. oh well :(. as i said, today was chill. i liked the weather a lot! nice and sunny! i was happy that i met up with kristin, steven, and ghian! i miss them, and it felt really good to just meet up with them. =] we chilled and played king elephant, tried to go back to those memmories :) and then we played mafia, but before it got all good, i had to leave :( which totally sucks. we came home and i did of course, nothing. well i turned on our wii and played animal crossing ! it was a great feeling! =] so im basically packed for this whole week, :
monday- stay home and clean the whole day, and maybe do some studying and homework
tuesday- dmv !
wednesday- poly practice from 10-12:30
thursday- kaycee's casa, & a surprise visit (;
friday- six flags :)

YAYYYYYYY im so excited !!!! =]

wasted

time.




alll that effort, well not really, just wasted. its so hard to see what you want just totally dissappear in front of your face. to have faith in something, and you KNOW its not going to work. stupid stupid stupid. that's all i'll ever be right? right.

i have no clue why i thought i had it all..
hahahahahahahahah fucking stupid.

april 11th, 2009
-fucking beyond pissed
-crushed
-mad

what

the ef.



REALLY NOW?!
YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!!!

i was looking foward to this spring break to just being something i can fall back and just chill. and what do you know? the first day has gone bad. what the heck. i dont understand. i just feel like i cant trust anyone anymore. that one thing i will say, will just leak out to the whole world. its like i cant tell anyone my secrets without anyone else knowing or talking about it. really now? i cant believe you guys. i really can't. its like you guys dont respect the dont tell anyone rule. and i've known you guys forever and a day, and you just cant do that one thing for me. REALLY. i mean seriously. what a crappy way to start the first day of spring break right?! seriously !!! i thought you guys had my backs and everything. what the eff is up with you just talking about it?! i mean really now. and the fact that it came up with someone and you just happened to add on... wth is that?! i feel like you guys dont even respect my wishes, i mean really, its not that hard to not tell someone.. reallly. its not. and apprently you guys dont really understand that it IS personal stuff.. and i DO mind if everyone knows. and im pretty freaking sure that you wouldnt want people to know either right? i thought so. i dont know what to do anymore. im so dissappointed in you, ALL of you.
thanks.

april 10th 2009:
-effing pissed
-forgotten
-dissapointed
-sad
-all jittery
- & NOT confused :)

what the RANDOM?!

weeeee ! surprise blog ! :)

nah nah, just a little update!

I AM SO GLAD THAT:
-DBQ project is DONE ! and over with, nothing to really worry about except the stupid test thats coming up pretty soon ! :( well pretty soon as in friday. HAHA that was lame of me to say that...
- I HAVE AN A IN SPANISH ! crazy bitch put tests to 60% ! what the random is THAT!? but it doesnt matter, at least i raised it :) yayayayayayayayayaya !
- i have unlimited texting. WOHOO ! hahah thats all i ever do now.. just text, text, and text somemore ! :)

so yeah, basically i've entered a " la vida buena " hype.. (the good life, for all those none spanish speaking people) but im pretty sure its going to wear out soon, only because i KNOW im getting that math test back :( it was super hard ! no joke. i just know it. :( oh well. AND the fact that im taking my license test next tuesday is something to smile about i guess ! well, i take that back. everything should be a reason to smile. i hate feeling sad, and honestly, now im just trying to keep a positive attitude ( which is VERY hard). no more sadness and madness... really.. im so happy with how everything in my life is unfolding ! =) and mostly its because my girls got my back no matter what, i know they do. I LOVE YOU GUYS !!!!

SOOOOOO, with that said, i guess thats what i really wanted to say. well not really. im really scared for the apush test, and for my math grade ! oh and speaking of, i offically just raised it to a B! YES. hahaha feels so good ! see, im telling you, everything right now is just slowly falling into place. but not EVERYTHING. we'll see what goes down for those things that haven't, those things im still quite puzzeled about! STUPID ! :(

" you do what you love, and you fuck the rest"
AMEN TO THAT.

April 8th 2009:
-sick (getting there )
- & SUPER CONFUSED.

seriously?!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

so so SO much has been going down lately. and i know i said that before on my last blog, but im dead serious right now. hahahah no joke.

so, i guess i just wanna get stuff off my chest.
if you wanna try and fuck with the people i love, then you dont deserve to be my friend. who the eff do you think you are, saying shit like that, what the eff do you think your problem is. i dont think you see people spreading stuff like that about you, do you? didn't think so. and you know what, at least he said it to you motha freaking face, not behind your back. dont try and deny the fact that you did say that kind of stuff, then why the hell would you be in this mess bitch?! yeah. thought so. so just one word of advice: don't ever fuck with my bests agian, GOT IT BITCH?

SO, thats off my chest, everything has been going well. right now, stupid projects are just being thrown at me right and left, & honestly, i dont know if i can keep up. & balancing homework on top of that is just insane. i didnt think it would become this bad.. and right now my grades are just something else. something else as in a bad something else. i dont know what the eff just happened to me. i just lost it, and just gave up. i wish i could just do that. give up on the whole world. wouldn't that be a sight? but im trying. im trying my best to pull myself out of this dipshit. THANK THE LORD FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS.

wohooo ! sadies tomorrow ! too bad im freaking busy !:( whatever, ill somewhat manage through. and honestly, i think a night like sadies will just push my thoughts away. everything that i've been stressing about will just be gone ! and im super excited for sadies ! freaking 1100 plus people, DAYUM isss gonna be hot in thuuuuur.

retreat was AWESOME. im so thankful that ive gotten to go through something like that. now i am so ready to be confirmed :) yayayayay ! i thank the lord for helping me choose the correct sponsor. because of this wonderful retreat, i feel that we're on better terms, and we've grown deeper into our faith. and i LOVE that :) it makes me really happy !

okay, but yeah , just a little update. :)

<3

updates :)

so many pictures! have fun viewing them!

ALOT HAS BEEN GOING DOWN
& honestly, things aren't looking so good for me. but i have my friends and my family to stand behind me, to just keep me going, and i deeply appreciate everyone that has just been there for me. I LOVE YOU ALL.

LUCKY BITCHES WHO WENT ON RETREAT THIS WEEKEND. so down to just relax and forget about the world. no joke. especially with things going on like, seeing that one person. but whatever, people are telling me to just forget, and i think im on my way to just doing that. i dont need people like that person in my life. i was more then willing to keep you in, but since you dont wanna come in, leave bitch. just fucking leave.

i cant believe that it feels like my life is literally is taking a trip down the dark hole. kawawa. but whatever, im going to stop complaining about this because i keep talking about it.

YESTERDAY, made my day :) freaking justin and david. hahahahaha :)
stupid DBQ project. screwing all of us over, due april 8th :( we'll see how that goes, i dont know. we're pretty far ahead.. and what sucks is that justin is freaking leaving for tour, so thats triple the work :( ugh whatever !

<3

wassssup.

WEST SIDE : )
that is how its done. i swear, all star weekend was hella dope :)
co mvps: kobe and shaq, its so cute, brings back great memmories.

NAS and i were talking, and we totally think that they should bring back shaq. imagine who better our team would be. :) we'd kick everyone's bootay!

so today was just a whatever day. i slept so much today. slept a good 11+ hours last night, and then another good 3-4 hours today. :) too bad, when i woke up i was all sick and nausiated. i felt like throwing up, and my head was hurting like a bitch. it felt like something was literally pounding on my head. UGH i hate those. i remember falling asleep to my sister playing animal crossing. i swear, that girl is amazing. she got me 16,000 dollars worth of fish today. THANK YOU :)

i am so stoked for this week. i think this whole week, imma be in mr higgins room doing homework for this week, so i wont have to worry about anything. and i need to seriously catch up on a lot of things.. and its bugging me how im not getting shit done. and speaking of un done shit, i still need to order my baby's flower thingy for formal :( UGH and i still have to get him his tie and everything. every year, i swear, i always have a problem with matching. and the color is so simple : gray, and there is virtually no one who has a matching tie wtfffffff ! insane crazyness.

tomorrow, is another one of those procrastination days. -___- sometimes i wish i could just get shit done, but i know with my personality, i choose not too.. but whatever, itll just give me a day to just focus.

WHEN is ate jingkie coming !? i hope she doesnt come the week of formal, cuhs then i wont be able to spend some time with her :( and this time i promised her that i would take her shopping for reals :( and then i wont be there?! and she wants to go back to disneyland.. and i know her cousins can get us in for 50 bucks... both parks.. SO :) hopefully my schedule will be empty for that.

i think im done, theres nothing really to blog about. im just bored. :)

happy..

motha fuckin' valentines day.
i shouldnt be pissed or mad or upset. all these mixed emotions are unhealthy cuhs its just going to mix with all the fucking stress i have because of this last week, and im anticipating MORE stress this week. GREAT.


---> DISNEYLAND WAS THE BESTERESTEST!
here you go, for your viewing pleasure.

anyways, poly was fun today :) just worked on formations, finally, i know what im doing, and its chill because im close to alll the officers :) and today, charlsea got some juice gave some to me, and told me there was vodka in it -________- silly girl. i was going to spit it out. hahaha but maybe im the stupid one.. cuhs i KNOW shes not like that... hahahahah :) i love you chaz ! but it was so cold today ! :( but thats okay, because the sun came out and it was all warm ! and then i was sleepy cuhs it felt sooo good..

after poly, my parents picked me up and they bought chinese food for all of us. came home, ate, and my dad and my mom made me drive to pomona and pretend to drive around like a real license test. just one more time, and my dad thinks im ready. i think im ready to.. it shouldnt be that bad.. hopefully my test person thingy is REALLY nice :)

ALL STAR WEEKEND :) too bad that jason kapono didnt win the three point shoot out :( i was totally rooting for him.. but thats okay, slam dunk contest should be pretty dope too... gooo dwight howard ! fucking beast !

i miss laker games :( they dont play until tuesday, against the hawks ! so i am sooo looking foward to that ! someone take me to meet jordan farmar ! <33333333>

AS for homework.. i have a lot.. math and chemistry.. wonderful. i think i should start apush too.. just incase i get left behind again..

WHATEVER.

they did it again !

OH YES :) 40-9 LAKERS FOR THE MOTHA FACKING WIN :)

shiiiiiat ! the boston game was SOMETHING ELSE. got me all scared because this most def was NOT their best game! and we were so lucky lamar made that last free throw [ yeah speaking of free throws, they missed like... almost 2/3 of their free throws! ] cuhs it put us up by 1. AND the fact that garnett was FINALLY fouled out ! :) gave us less to deal with !

i am so excited for this week
1. three day weekend
2. disneyland !
3. one month :)
4. another three day weekend
5. winter formal :)
I LOVE FEBRUARY !!!! <3!

lately, i've felt so much closer to my girls, it feeels so good ! finally just catching up and just being US. man i've missed it, but it kinda sucks because school is taking over my social life and just ruining everything :( BOO SCHOOL

i have a major headache :(

peace out

JANUARY :)

wow feb already!? shoooot.. i swear.. this year is going by so quick, by the time you know it, i'll be a licenced driver, take that stupid AP test and the SAT and then it'll be summer :)
i cannnnot wait :)

this week/weekend has been interesting. i noticed that i should really start to pay attention to what goes on in classes instead of daydreaming of shit that never comes true. HAHA seriously right? like in chemistry, i actually understand what goes down, same goes with spanish and so on. but seriously for spanish, i actually like where i sit, and who im situated with in that class, makes it go by so much faster. As for math.. hmm.. trig is pretty damn hard, dont like it at all, and i freaking miss pre calc! but whatever, hopefully, i'll make it through, and hopefully i got an A on that last homework check up ! APUSH, well im kinda feeling better about that class, because the last test i took besides the final, i actually passed with a 79. so i have some coffidence that it'll just be better from here :)
so if i want good grades, ( well better grades, cuhs right now, my grades ARE good ) then that means more paying attention more studying and just more concentration. i can't afford to fuck this semester over like i did the first one. and its so funny because when i look back at my grades, i realize how much better i could do, if i wasnt so damn lazy!

ANYWAYS.
friday was a VERY nice day :) i wish i could have days like that all the time, you know. chill after school with the home fries, go to chipotle and see like.. most of the ayala high school and then walk on over to ra and eat chipotle and laugh and talk crap about people. and then a few minutes later walk around the shoppes and walk into forever 21 trying to find a wf dress but instead get distracted by all these sluty dresses, and then make one of our friends try it on and she screams that she looks like a hooker but then a girl with the same dress comes out of a dressing room. and then a few minutes after that your boyfriend comes, and then you meet his two friends and he stays with you & your friends. he tells you he misses you, and that you smell good. he holds you like he never wants to let go, and then you have all these butterflies in your stomach you are literally at a loss for words.
THAT WAS MY FRIDAY :) jealous? ;)
saturday wasn't that great. well actually i take that back. it was decent for most saturdays. my mom woke me up hella early so i can drive her to seafood city. and instead of taking the side street, like we always do when we're in the walnut/westco area, we take the damn freeway. but thats okay, because i've been on the freeway before, its nothing new :) seafood was fun. watching my mom pick out the perfect type of fish. same goes with vegetables and fruits. and then she walks in and out of ailes to make sure she doesn't forget anything. and then we pay and realize that we spent almost 60 dollars on food. DAMN.
and then my mom decided to buy me breakfast, and then drops me off at school. chill with them poly officers :) and then poly starts and what do you know , mother nature starts to PMS again, because today was so fureaking hot ! : ( i was sweaty ! :( it was grosssssss ! and then after poly, jerald toook me home and i crashed.. literally. woke up and took my mom and my sister to kyr so my sister could sign up for clarinet lessons. then we went to go visit my lolo :) chilled at my lola's for a while, then left to good grocery shopping (again) at food for less. and then my mom took my sister and i to yogurt bar because we were craving some :) so then we came home, i knocked out again and after we went to mass. then my mom decieds to get some mexican food at baja fresh. came home, watched the laker game and now im here doing nothing. and i'm thinking about the things i SHOULD be doing, for example: HOMOWORK.

37-9 ! lakers ftw ! :) too bad bynum has a knee sprain, and it kinda sucks because that knee sprain happened to be his right knee.. the last time he had a knee sprain it was his left, and he was out for a looooong time :( and then to make things so much better, the celtics game is literally around the corner (thursday) can they really hold up without bynum?! we'll see ! :) kobe better not foul his ass out at the last quarter, when the game intensifies 4875934753948574 to the millionth power ! :)

today was also a good day to just catch up on my thoughts. i thought about ____ & ____ and i realized that i lost both of you guys, which kind of sucks because i never intended for anything to happen between me and ____. even though i see ___ once in a while, it still isnt the same. and sometimes i dont understand why we dont even talk. and as for _____ im too scared to just catch up because it might lead to bad terms. and speaking or terms , we left on bad terms, which i STILL want to fix.

okay, wow this was a long blog, have fun reading !

january 31st 11:03 pm
-sick
-cold
-tired
- missing you ! :)

he's back

yeeeeeeeup, he's back :) after a "month and a half without picking up the ball and playing" my baby's back on the court playing :) mattta fack, when they played san anotonio today, and a definite WIN , he scored a good amount points, and this being his first game ever since his release from his knee rehab. its funnny, because i just got done reading his blog, and he is a freaking mac beast ! he owns like 94753948534 mac gadets including a few ipods an itouch , a mac desktop and three macbooks O_O talk about big time ballla! good thing he's out there playing again. only imagine, the celtics game is just around the corner, and with the WHOLE team back together ( whole meaning farmar, walton, and odom) all released from injuries, im anticipating a nice win and an entrance to championships :) BAM!

ANYWAYS.

today is just one of those chill and do nothing days. i think im in the mood for a nap so that later one i can just watch movies and not think about anything school related :) i was watching "Revolutionary Road" and i didn't really get the story, and the ending, but the acting was awesome! but before that, my mom woke me up at 8 and we all went to mass at 9. The mass was lead by bishop barnes today, which he took a nice 45 minutes to have a wonderful sermon. see my sarcasim? ha. it was insane, and the guy next to me, (im pretty sure he was a guy?) had really really really long finger nails, longer than his mothers, and mine! it was pretty.... yeah.. interesting. Getting out wasn't as bad as i thought, the people were nice today and let me go! Gosh i hate when stupid people just cut me off! :(

After mass we came home and i started to clean the house (again). i thought i was going to take a nap when i got home because i was falling asleep through the homily. but i didn't.

Today, i think mother nature is most definitely PMSING today. Woke up, and it was raining, got out of mass, it stopped. During the movie, it was sunny.. and NOW its dark and cold. :( BOOOO for this kind of weather. I like the cold, and its supposed to be raining ! where'd it all go!?

I'm so glad finals are over, gives me time to catch up and finally have my life back. I cant even imagine myself living a life of constant studying, except when at school.

On the note of mother nature, speaking of, i recieved a LOVELY (catch the sarcasm?) present from her :( thanks to her, im probably going to be the big fat bitch in this house... AGAIN. just dont piss me off :)

No school monday, so we'll see how that goes, and i'm super excited to finally having the chance to sleep in and have the house to myself :)

ITS OVER.

puahahahahahaha :) ENJOY.

THANK THE LORD THAT FINALS ARE OVER AND DONE FOR.
now, on the list is to study for the AP test and the fucking SAT which is, literally right around the corner.. i should probably get a head started.
--> but i am super super SUPER happy that finals is over, i anticipate for good hangouts and some memmory makin :) speaking of good hangouts, just got home from bj's with olivia, gwen, alexis, nina, aileen, erum, linda, jenna & CAMILLE :) i miss that girl soo much, and its sad that we dont do anything together and we literally live right across the street from each other :( lucky girl got her license today! i wish i could get mine, or that i had mine already. i think that by now, if i did have my license, a particular relationship wouldn't be in constant need of you know, seeing each other and what not. but thats okay, not seeing people, (hahaha) for a certain amount of time gives me an excuse to overly miss them without seeming like a freak :)
FINALS :
english- peas of cake ! honestly, and she let us use notes to... COMMMMMON.
chem- HARD AS FUCK. i was like...... oh most of them.... -___- who the hell knows what chemical is found in perfume....
spanish- EASY ! :) i think i got at least a B
math- hard as fuck :( i think i failed.. : (
choir - :)
APUSH- fuck that class, why did i even take it?!
so we'll see how bad i did, cuhs im pretty sure now my grades will be going down the toilet.

i realized, now that its the weeking, gotta get cracka lakin on my ANIMAL CROSSING :)
hahahahah i need to catch up and pay my damn mortage already ! shhheeeeeet !

january 23 2009, currently:
-tired
-full
-sleepy
-& of course, missing you :)

two thousand nine

HAS FINALLY COME.

and what a great way to start it with a fight.. UGH WHATEVER : )

hmm.. so i just wanna know, if YOU are reading this.. what the fuck happened to texting me and talking about this shit later? like honestly, i was hoping for some sort of " make up " for the new year, but i guess not huh? i dont know what you keep doing to me, coming back into my dreams.. and i guess its sort of meaningful. lately, i honestly and truly wanna tell you i hate you, straight up. Hate you for doing this to me, even though i know that its way to damn late to fix anything.. but then again, i'm not sure i want to anymore. fuck you, and i hope you had fun just bringing up my hopes for nothing bitch. have a great life.

----> ANYWAYS, on a happier note ! lakers ! hahahahahahah ! freaking heartbreak !
2 losses in a ROW : ( welll you know what !? efff san antonia and orlando ! we know we're good and thats alllll that matters : ) and today while i was watching the commercials before the 3rd quarter i think, i saw numba 5,FARMAR : ) so he's back, practicing and stufff : )
lately, things have been full of surprises, and surprisingly, i fullfilled some of my 09 resolution, mending relationships with certain people, and im happy because i mended more then i wanted :) which is REALLY good.
&& speaking of surprises.... < 333333333333 ! : )

hmmm 3 more months in the counting for my license ! i am SUPER excited.
&&& I ALMOST FORGOT..
school is so blah now, chemistry is WHACK... COME BACK MS HAYNES ! 2nd PERIOD NEEDS YOU !!!!! hahaahaha (;

12:33 am january 17th 2009:
-headache
-soooo in like
-& somewhat stressed.